January’s Thread #6: Pray for Understanding When Hurt

Ok, this was not going to be my next post but something pressed on me to move it up in the line.  I will have three posts that grapples with praying for others.  I will post one daily.

These next two post will be dedicated to a sister in Christ and me.  Why?  Why not, they would have not been possible without her having a need and me taking a step of faith and sharing that I am doing this type of blog. 

When she shared some trials she was going through, I suggested she use a key-board.   I asked her to remember to pray as she was putting her feelings down and to not edit it.  She said she had done this, and it never helped.  When I asked what she did after she typed it; she said she tore it up like all the self-help people suggest.   Bingo, she thought that by tearing it up it would go away.  Not!  Nothing goes away!  Our brain is our internet!  Our brain never forgets.  The hurt or pain is always stored for some thing to search it out and retrieve it.  I suggested she print that sucker out so that when she prays she can validate her feelings and hold onto that paper as she prays.

When she asked what she is to pray for, I told her that is not something others can suggest.  Pray for even that type of guidance.  We have to remember that is part of letting the Spirit guide us.

Romans 8:26
Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities:  for we know not what we should pray for as we ought:  but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.

So how do we get rid of the hurt or pain?  Examine it.  Not looking at what the other person has done to us but, – – self-examination.  We need to pray before, and boy do we need to put a lot into that prayer or prayers.  You may find it helpful to pray one prayer for everything, or to break your prayers into several.  If you are praying with tears then please break them into several prayers; asking for comfort as you end them.   

We need to pray for truth.  Yes, pray that the Spirit lets you see the whole of the hurt.  Your side and the other’s side.  This can be very scary, so gird yourself and pray.  There is more prayer needed.

John 16:33
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace.  In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

Pray that the Lord lets the Spirit be your spiritual counsel!  Pray that you can secure the love for the person whom has been the cause of misery.  Pray that your need is pure.  Pray that you remember the reasoning for the self-exam is for the benefit of self-forgiveness; but much more importantly, so you can forgive.

What else are you to pray for?  Pray for strength!  You may not be ready to see what your ‘today’s truth’  tells you.  You may not be at the place where you are strong enough to see your faults and the faults of the others involved in the hurt.

Psalms 51:10
   Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

Next you should pray for guidance.  Guidance in scriptures, and in how you handle your truths.   Remember, what you read today in the scriptures may not have been what you have read years ago.  What you thought about those hurts yesterday may not be what you think about them tomorrow.

Pray that you are able to grow.  What the heck is a self-exam for except to grow and make ourselves healthy?  Pray for compassion.

Now, I’m not saying you should pray for only these things, but they are some of the important things.  Know what you really want from the reflection.  Is it to make yourself feel better; is it to give you learning strategies for coping; is it to  be able to forgive; is it to forget?  Only you know why you need to soul-search.  Keep in mind, our brain is hard-wired, so we never forget.  Question only what is causing you anguish today.  Tomorrow  this might change.  Don’t try and be general about it; get nit-picky on what you hunger for. 

If you are dealing with the trials of a long history of abuse, then you will have a long list of wrongs.  How exhausting will that be?  Don’t try to examine each wrong, just examine the  tribulation as a whole.  I know in just the last paragraph I said to get picky, (that was for your needs, not the wrongs), but with a long history of abuse you should not start digging the bones out of the grave.  What happened 20 or even 30 years ago should have been turned over to the Lord.  This might be a prayer that you need to send up.  But for today’s angst, ask yourself what your needs are.  Are you holding on to history,  is the abuse continuing, or is it taking on a new form?  Then, what is it that hurts the most?  Is it because you cannot shrug it off?  Is it something else?

Most of our hurts are from some form of bullying.  That bully has personality traits that we must examine.  When we can see their traits plainly,  we can see how their traits have developed our traits.  We, as children, learn from our parents.  We learn our language; our moods; our actions.  We either copy them or try to do the extreme opposite.  We may never find a happy medium, and we may let them continually damage our relationships with the others around us.  – –  Pray.

So, some things to really review are: 1) How that person’s traits developed?  [understanding]  2) How has that person’s action made me the person I am?  [truth, strength]  3) How it affects the people around me? [truth, compassion 4) How it affects my faith?  [spiritual girdle]  5) Am I willing to accept I will never forget?  [comfort, truth, grace]  6) Am I at a place to forgive them and myself ?  [peace, forgiveness, grace]  7) Am I ready to listen to what the Lord guides me with?

Remember these prayers are for personal searching, not so the Lord changes the person.   Ugh!  Try to figure out what you need.  If you have no idea, then ask the Lord to let the Spirit guide you.  For does he not know our needs even before we do?

Romans 8:26
Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities:  for we know not what we should pray for as we ought:  but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.

The next  post will cover what I call one of those “bully personality traits.”  I decided to pick Narcissism as the subject.  But the post can really be applied to any trait people have; and how it might affect us, or those having to share a life with them.  The third post will cover someone we love to ‘hate’.

My prayer is:   Dear Lord, give us the strength to see our hurts as you would see them.  Gird us up for forgiveness and allow us to turn these hurts over to you.  Let the Spirit comfort me when I am in the same area as my tormentor.  Again let the Spirit give me the calm to know you are holding my hand to your bosom while I am around these people.  Speak the truth to me as I search out my hurts.


The next post that ties into this one:   January’s Thread #7: Pray for Them?

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