January’s Thread #7: Pray for Them?

Narcissistic people need prayer too!  Hard to believe right?  Really any person with a bullying personality trait needs our prayers.   Being the type of writer I am, I look up topic words in old dictionaries.  I have four!  They must be printed before the internet age.  What did I find? 

There was a young man in Greek Mythology that spurned some Greek god’s love.  Narcissus was his name.  [Each time I re-read the last sentence, I hear it to the tune of Bingo; the kid’s song.] That wasn’t his only claim to fame.  He loved his own image so much so, he became a flower.  Go figure.  Remember the song from the 70’s, it had a line of,  “bet you think this song is about you, don’t you?”  [Carly Simon, You’re so Vain ]

Let us address what this type of person’s traits do to their realm of acquaintances.  [Oh, because the ‘ones-who-be’ say I have to say that this is not medical advice, I am putting it here.  Not medical advise!]  Now back to the Narcissist.

They tend to damage the people around them.  If you must be around one, you might think you should always perform perfectly.  No matter how hard you try, you never reach their goal.  Fact, sorry.  You have done this ‘trying’ as a coping or survival mechanism.    Think about it, if it is a parent, you will not be able to say ‘no’ to them.  If it is a spouse, you may feel that you never can live up to the ‘good-wife/husband’ picture they hold up to you. Therefore, when you can never reach it you become depressed, even self-depreciating.  You might be a person that displays self-assurance to everyone.  But inside, you have the feeling of never being good enough, scared, and finally defensive. As a protective strategy you become unable to accept being wronged. Even simple offences with/by any person, you know – – the ones that should be forgotten in a matter of minutes, will cause strife.  You might even become what you are trying to deal with!  This is why we should pray for the narcissistic type of person.

Are they the only ones we should be praying for?  Not!  They are just my example for one of the types of people we should pray for.  But why?  How about compassion?  Maybe, because it is a commandment of Christ to pray for all those that cause tribulation? 

Let us be selfish, let us pray for them so the Spirit can give us a little peace!  It is kind-of on the idea of tithing.  Well if you are praying for that self-centered-loved one, then you are doubly praying for your own comfort.  I know if there was a preacher reading this, he would drop to his knees and call me heathen.  But what better way to show that you genuinely care for the person causing you angst? Don’t forget to pray for yourself and that the Spirit help keep you calm during one of their rants. 

Personal experience:  I have a family member that loves the Lord.  That family member is a narcissist.  If they do not get their way in anything or everything, then they can throw a doosie of a fit.  Next, they will talk about you to every family member.  Alas, if you do what they want, then nothing you do is good enough.  I used to let this bother me for days and days, – – dreaming up scenarios of what I could have done differently.    Then I would be depressed.  Well, someone very dear to me told me to get some self-respect and not believe a word they were saying.  They also told me that I would never please that person and to stop trying.  I was of the opinion that I should always ‘honor’ them, but my opinion of honor has changed. [At the time, honor meant to put them on a pedestal and always obey.]  Does the Bible not say that the evil one will turn family against family?  (Verses below.)

Maybe he (the evil one) does it thru our ears?  But, for sure, he will do it through our loved ones.  So, do you stop loving them?  Do you let them change the love you have for your faith?  Heck no!

I love warnings, don’t you?  Above I typed, “what I could have done differently”!  Let me add a sentence or two here.  If you dream up things of what they could do differently, then you need to examine the self.  Pray and ask if you are becoming  like them. 

The grand question is: what are we to do?  Therapists will tell you to break contact with them.  But your Bible says differently.  So?  Pray!  Pray!  Pray!  First for them.  Second for all those this person is hurting.  Third, pray for yourself!

Pray that the Spirit guides you, and keeps a hand over your mouth until you are sure of the path that the Lord would wish you to take.  I know the Bible tells you to go to your brother and talk it over, but …  A Narcissist is going to turn every wrong out for airing. They are going to tell you that they act the way they do because of you, and boy are you setting yourself up for more hurt!  So again, pray!  If you have tried this route and feel you need to take a ‘brother’ with you,  do not let it be your spouse!  Nor child. So, I suggest that again, Pray!

As a writer, I say – get a good sturdy keyboard and write them a letter that is never sent.  I know some say to rip the letter up, but no!  You need to validate your feelings.  You can hold that letter in your hands and pray.  But as you type that letter keep praying, and never say “Amen.”

We know every good blogger needs her Bible verses. 

Romans 8:26
Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought:  but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.

Then a not so gracious verse:

Romans 12
20Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

 


Verses for reality:

Matthew 10:
34Think not that I am come to send peace on earth:  I came not to send peace,  but a sword.
35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father,  and the daughter against her mother …
36And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.
37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me:  and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
38 And he that taketh not his cross,  and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.

And verses to give us comfort.


Genesis 50:20
But as for you, ye thought evil against me;  but God meant it unto good,  to bring to pass,  as it is this day,  to save much people alive.

Psalms 27
10   When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.
12   Delivered me not over unto the will of mine enemies:  for false witnesses are risen up against me,  and such as breathe out cruelty.

I pray that as each of us, no matter our age, can accept the strength You have given us to face these whom have bullying traits.  That You let us have the protection and comfort promised through the Spirit.  Give us strength to confront these traits with compassion and prayer.
The prior post that caused this post to come into existance:   January’s Thread #6: Pray for Understanding When Hurt

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