Is it a ‘want’, a ‘need’, or a ‘necessity’?
Will God provide it? Does it speak for God?
I will be honest with this post or the reason for this post. I don’t know if I needed the lesson in it, or if it was just for my friend when we were talking. But she was asking about changing her place of employment. She talked about her current place having expensive insurance, and she is bored, and the drama at the work place. If she were to go back to the former employer she would have cheaper insurance, less personal drama, high work pace and further to drive. So, I asked her what her inner-self was telling her. She answered with: she felt so stressed where she was now and if she were to have a baby in the future, she couldn’t see paying for the family plan on the current insurance.
It came to the point that I had to ask what she felt like she was being led by the Father to do. And was she wanting something from her job that she should not expect a job to provide. Think “security”; may be “ego”. Was she relying on herself for her “security”? She said that she was because she had been let-down by her first husband and she never wanted to be in that place again. Then came the questions of the material things she wants. And then several other questions came out.
During our conversation I started questioning myself, even. I need to move from my current home to a one story. For health and safety reasons; nothing else, ’cause I love this house. So, we are looking for a new, older home. I have my wants in a home and my husband wants just cheap and a solid roof. Me? Give me a laundry room, not a closet. Give me wide doors, for wheelchair. Give me three bedrooms, two to three bathrooms, large kitchen, large dining room and a good size living room. And a spare room for storage. Closets are not for storage. I also want more than a couple acres; maybe 50? So, the ‘war’ has commenced on looking at properties.
To my lesson:
I had to ask myself three main things and find answers to them.
1 Are my “wants” a need, or a necessary? Do my “wants” fulfill something in my personal wishes other than necessity? Are they really asking for too much? Would I die [drama here] without them? Would not having them result in dissatisfaction in a home [example]. Would not having them make my life physically impossible to live, or would they just make it troublesome?
2 My next question is how I would respond to the husband if I did not get what I want. Will I handle the compromise with grace? Will every time I bump into a wall cause me to be angry with him? Will every time I have to do laundry in a kitchen make me loose my temper? Yes, in another home I did get mad about having to do laundry in my kitchen with lint flying everywhere and having to wipe down the tops of the cabinets more than two times a year. When I am in a wheelchair and the laundry is in a hall, how will I fold and do the necessary things? So, I have had to think about my reaction to the issues of compromising.
3 Then I had to ask myself if my “wants” are truly necessary to my future? And are my “wants” a result of life experiences, or the result of seeing something on TV and thinking that would make my life better? Wow! When I came to that question I had to stop and think. Our TV influence us to the extreme. Are the things I want something that God would not provide? Are the things I want something God would approve of? Why do I want my “wants”? Do I really need my “wants”?
By simply pulling back and asking myself those last questions and having a long conversation with the Lord, I found myself justifying my first “wants”. I wanted four bedrooms, because …. I wanted a three car garage, because …. I wanted about 50 acres, with a pond, because …. I wanted a courtyard for my gardening, because …. But when I got to talking with the Lord, I visualized Him sitting with me, and the look I saw on His face was shocking. He was sitting there nodding His head and raising His eyebrows at me. And He would ask me, “And why?” Is it a need, a want, a necessity? Which is wanting it; the me in the world, or the me in the moment, or the me in the need to prepare for the future? So, after my conversation with Him, I have cut back a lot of “wants”, secured the necessities, and shored up the needs.
Is it a ‘want’, a ‘need’, or a ‘necessity’?
Will God provide it? Does it speak for/of God? Would God feel welcomed to use/have it?
So, when you are putting out your list of gift ideas for your family, ask yourself these questions. Want an 84 inch big screen; would the Lord want to watch it? Want a fancy pair of boots; will they reflect your faith? Want gift cards to the theater? Would the Lord enjoy the film? That new phone? A diamond pair of earrings? Now, I am not saying to not ask for things, but question why you want what-cha-want. Is it to ‘look good’ or simply you would enjoy it? Is it a need that you cannot get yourself? Is it a status item? Does it reflect grace, purity, humbleness, holiness, and all things that would be of the Father? Or, is it an item that the “world” has told you that you should have?
I will share my list for the new home. No laughing. No pine trees, or sweet gums (I trip on the gum balls, and slip on pine needles). A laundry room, a large kitchen with a door to close it off from the rest of the house. Three bedrooms with two bathrooms, (one equipped with handicapped accessibility) and each to have large closets; if I can’t have a tiny storage room. I gave up the office, the fourth bedroom, the third garage space, the garden courtyard (in exchange for a raised bed veggie garden). I have not given up on the dining room. I have reduced the acreage to around five. I have accepted that a home built in the early 1900’s might be my best bet. Since the doors are all oversized and not put in weird places. I have accepted that it might be a fixer-upper and living in a mess might be a necessity. I am calm about it now, since my conversation with the Lord and my friend.
I will share my list for my family to put under my tree. A large cedar chest, a wooden bread box, and a different water filter. Since this is the season of asking, I am asking my readers what are some of the gift ideas you have given your family? I just love to read what people are asking for, and their “whys”. Let’s face it, we all justify what we want when we reach adulthood. And those reasons are the best part of why we ask for what we ask for. So tell this girl what you want for Christmas.